fresh start

"why is life all crazy like this?"

"bhuta ia, dewa ia."
"what does that mean?"
"man is a demon, man is a god. both true."
"so what can we do about the craziness of the world?"
"nothing," he laughed, with a dose of kindness. "this is the nature of the world. this is destiny. worry about your craziness only - make peace in yourself."

positive tension

create your own little world.


that way, nothing can get to you.

i turned to you and say
you're just as boring as everyone else
why'd you have to get so hysterical
success success success is over
why'd you have to get so useless

laugh so you dont cry
laugh so you dont cry
laugh so you dont cry

destination unknown

[its always harder to go back]

i know its meant to be a balance of pleasure and devotion
but what do you do when you are used to favouring one ?
and it seems to me, once you've crossed the line
its hard to bring it back into balance

the potholed road of circumstance

"the mind is restless, turbulent, strong and unyielding. i consider it as difficult to subdue as the wind." - bhagavad gita

you've got to stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone should be

open wound

sometimes i feel like im a walking open wound.

records

i see it on the television, in books i read,
in people i know and love, in strangers
and yet i sit here and move myself farther away from it
when will i stop dreaming and let it become reality ?

until then... ill dream of days
of dancing to records and deep belly laughs

a million little pieces

The Young Man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.
I broke something, Old Man.
How badly is it broken?
It's in a million little pieces.
I'm afraid I can't help you.
Why ?
There's nothing you can do.
Why ?
It can't be fixed.
Why ?
It's broken beyond repair. It's in a million little pieces.

"I turn and look back across the Lake. The mist is gone and the ice is diminished, the drip of the icicles quick and heavy. The sun is up and the Sky is blue empty blue light blue clear blue. I would drink the Sky if I could drink it, drink it and celebrate it and let it fill me and become me. I am getting better. Empty and clear and light and blue. I am getting better."

wings

in my dream last night
i opened my mouth
and words came rushing out
poetry of all kinds

words rushed out of my mouth
and i had no control
weaving together to make perfect sound
sending chills up my spine

this morning i woke
and i was sure
i had grown wings in my sleep
i felt them deep in my shoulder blades

my old self

"you're a few years overdue
i spent them waiting here for you

went on a limb for you
capsized when i turned twenty two

do hope i won't learn to make the same mistakes
that you would make me aware my only fear
my only hope
is letting go"
- get up kids

as the music met my ears i drifted up into air
and hovered over myself a few years back

and to be honest
i didn't recognize that girl at all

[i say what i have to and hold back the rest]

you are subtle as a window pane
standing in my view
but i will wait for it to rain
so that i can see you
you call me up at night
when there's no light passing through
and you think that i don't understand
but i do

we don't say everything that we could
so that we can say later
oh, you misunderstood
i hold my cards upclose to my chest
i say what i have to
and i hold back the rest
'cause someone you don't know
is someone you don't know
get a firm grip, girl
before you let go
for every hand extended
another lies in wait
keep your eye on that one
anticipate

if there's anything i've learned
all these years on my own
it's how to find my own way there
and how to find my own way back home
- ani difranco

gratitude gratitude gratitude

i want to make books and take pictures and drink more tea
and lie on more couches and listen to pablo neruda poetry
and read sark books
and go to bed early and kiss more cheeks
and play heads up 7 up when it rains
and giggle more and worry less
and dream up funny possibilities and brave endings

making your life feel better...
i think it takes a lot of things
[1] let the tears roll where they will
[2] honey on anything
[3] a very soft old hand saying "you'll be okay"
[4] a bubble bath with candles
[5] praying
[6] listening to children explain
[7] watching the branches let go
[8] gratitude gratitude gratitude
[9] sharing your colours

with my freckles and messy hair, bruised knee and chapped lips --
this morning i am splendidly imperfect and alive.

"one runs the risk of weeping a little if one lets himself be tamed" - antoine de saint exupery

fire

beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel

there's a fire thats just waiting for fuel

you tell me

how does it make you feel ?

you tell me whats real.

there's a fire just waiting for fuel.

nostalgia and true feelings

"all this makes me want to go home and be a kid again"
"yea, when everything was simple and you didnt realize how disappointing people were"

im like a hurricane on a mission
no direction but relentless none-the-less
you might not want to cross my path
bc there is fire in my eyes and pride in my chest
and no one is gonna take that from me this time

thumbsucker

[IT FELT LIKE EVERYTHING WAS WRONG WITH ME]

That's because we all want to be problemless -- to fix ourselves.

We look for some magic solution to make us all better but none of us really know what we are doing.

And is that so bad ?

That's all we can really do as humans.

GUESS. TRY. HOPE.

But just pray you don't fool yourself into thinking you got the answer, 'cause thats all bullshit.

THE TRICK IS LIVING WITHOUT THE ANSWER.

I think.

some good advice from an old dead poet

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it--it's the
only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks
your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually
drunk.
But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be
drunk.
And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of
a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again,
drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave,
the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything
that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is
singing, everything that is speaking. . .ask what time it is and
wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be
drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be
continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."
- Charles Baudelaire

e.e. cummings

anyone lived in a pretty how town
[with up so floating many bells down]
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men[both little and small]
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed[but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer]
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
[sleep wake hope and then]they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
[and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down]

one day anyone died i guess
[and noone stooped to kiss his face]
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men[both dong and ding]
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

smile

i caught you smiling at me
and your smile
told me a whole lot of things
that im not sure
it was meant to

im tired of being pushed around

ive been so worried about how you feel

ive forgotten myself

if i could say goodbye to you
to everything you ever were in my life
i think i would take it right now


and i would pass you on the street
and you would be another stranger
and i would smile as you walked by

winter wonderland

these good times and laughter
are being strung around my heart
like christmas lights
and they are building me up

the snowflakes on my eyelashes
are bringing back the magic
and the crisp snow beneath my shoes
make it all a little lighter

just for one second
i felt as though
i had opened my eyes
and i could see in all directions
at the same time